Sunday, September 3, 2017

Life is an adventure. Dare to live it.
That is going to hopefully, be my new mantra. Today I listened to a Ted talk about anxiety. The woman that was giving the talk quoted something about failing things instead of not doing anything at all. She discussed the idea of instead of not trying something that could be intimidating or uncomfortable, in fear that it wont go perfectly; trying it anyway, and failing. At least if we go into something knowing that we will fail, we still do the thing. Apparently this is a life changing philosophy. It has helped many with overcoming their anxieties.

Looking back on my life, I realize that some of my favorite memories started off with me not thinking about something, and jumping right in. A lot of times I "failed" in the context of what I was actually doing. Whether it was crashing a bike, or running over somebodies leg accidentally, to losing every single time I've ever bowled. These were fun memories though, because I DID SOMETHING. I think the last little while I have been afraid to try things because I want to feel completely supported. I want there to be no risk of me making a fool out of myself. I want no money to have been lost, and no real effort to be made. That, turns out, is waiting to be "acted upon", and not choosing to act myself.

God loves me. I know that. He has a plan for me. Filled with adventures, people, love, laughter, and joy. I don't think he has actually specified which people exactly, or what adventures. He isn't actually going to bring people to my little room to befriend me. I have to actually act. I have to take responsibility for how my life plays out.

I'm hoping that by starting this blog up again I can again realize that my life has a purpose. I can make friends, have adventures, and laugh and have immense joy if I look for it. A part of this is of course going to come with lots of weird experiences. Here goes nothing.

First Sunday Highlights:

I went to church and successfully made it through all three hours without any super uncomfortable moments. I learned a ton, and realized that with an older crowd, I definitely have to step up my intelligence game, maybe not so much my social skills game (thank you cosmetology school), but I'm going to have to work a little. Which is great!

After church I found out that my roommate likes all of the same kind of books that I like. So BOOM!!

A girl came over to read to my roommate a book that she has written. It is science fiction, and very long. It is actually pretty well written and I could see her being a published author someday. Her speaking voice is also PERFECT for a reading. Luckily she was going to choir and so she directed me to the right place. Although the choir isn't as fantastic as my last ward, it will be great for me to be involved. I love to sing, and the director knows that now.

I was a little "warded out" so I skipped break the fast. I probably should have gone.

I went to ward prayer by myself. It was a little bit intimidating. A guy in my ward came to talk to me and was actually really nice and welcomed me pretty well. He introduced me to the second counselor and his wife. I felt so weird. These people are nice, but very different from me. He asked me what I liked to do and I told him rock climbing and he proceeded to introduce me to the gray haired guy with a comb over that loves climbing. So nice of him. But also I'm not thrilled honestly. Oh well!!

One day at a time! I'm sure if I keep failing, eventually I might accidentally have success!!!

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